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I am so tired

We live in supposedly the easiest times. People used to live much shorter, harder lives, they used to work 10, 12 or even more hours of hard work every day. They would have like 10 children and only 3 would survive to the age of 10 or more. The life was rough. Yet, today, we are likely more tired than ever. Most of us works in offices, or even from home, most jobs aren't that hard, wars are burning as they always do but hidden from a lot of us who can see only what media allows us to see. We watch other people's "perfect lives" on internet, we see too many almost perfect looking people or just perfect looking every single day, people with no apparent flaws in life or body or face, we know way too much but still not enough, we want to be liked by total strangers and we do not know what is real anymore. We can't create because we want audience to approve our work, we can't be ourselves because we want to be perfect too, want to be liked, want to live life that i...
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Genetics is amazing!

 My Grandmother and me, aproximately the same age. Sure, her photo was created maybe in 1960s or 1970s so it's really bad quality and it was colored (badly) after. But I am amazed how genetics work, you can clearly see we are related. Except her eyes were blue, mine are black... as my soul (sorry, couldn't help it! 😊) Interestingly enough, I saw some really blurred photo of her in her 20s, that must have been taken around 1950 I think, or even at the end of 1940 and I did not look like that in my 20s. But here, as we aged and lost baby fat in face, some things look eaeily similar. Btw my kid looks almost nothing like me. But well, someone else can have stronger genetics than mine.

Everyone is ugly. Or is it just Marketing to sell us something?

When we are young, some of us have good genes and have beautiful face and body. That's like minority who fits into beauty standard and beauty standard is forever and for everyone and it's very important. That means you have to be whatever media tells you that is currently beautiful. That can change in time but the point is always similar. Youthful face shaped like upside down triangle, big eyes, tiny perfect nose, plump lips, perfect skin, big hair, slim body but nicely curvy where it should be. For men it's to be tall, muscular, square jaw. "hunter eyes" (whatever that means), nice big white teeth etc. That's beautiful, that's important and that's the goal, right? Old is ugly, small eyes are ugly, bulky or bumpy nose is ugly, small mouth is ugly, square face is ugly, any body but slim is ugly. Right? Wrong! You know what, all that is crap! That's all what we have been taught to believe and think and it's implanted into our brains over tv, medi...

My novel "Mima and life on planet Inferno": a story of adaptation and preservance

This is my novel, so far the only one I put on the Amazon. The reason for that is that I am not that good in English and I had no money for professional translator so I did translation myself. It's not the best but I did gave my best. It's very difficult to write in language that's not your native, but I hope the point is the most important. The novel is technically sf/horror/thriller but the point is adapting to completely new, harder lifestyle which can happen to all of us. finding something beautiful in new world that we don't know and we are not used to. The world that's not forgiving, not comfortable, does not allow mistakes. That is not set perfectly for you. That can be any situation in your life. We have no idea what will happen to us tomorrow, in a year, two, ten.. Finding your place is important. Finding purpose, beauty in anything. I am not saying I am smarter than anyone, and that I found the secret of life or adapting to any situation. I am as bad as a ...

Giant bug saga

So, I have been talking with my bank cosultant when I noticed it on the floor. A giant bug! Black with anthenes on its head and kind of segmented body. It looked huge and scary. Of course I made a sound and scared the lady from the bank on phone, and while talking I decided that I get the bug into box and let it out the window. Such huge thing has to fly, especially since it got in on fourth floor somehow (unless I brought it in on myself which is something I don't want to think about). So I get it under box and put it outside on window sill, pretty sure it will fly away. It didn't. I noticed that bug was sitting there panicking, tryng to get down thwn the sill and then getting scared and going back. No one expects to see the giant bug panicking. But there it was. So I felt sorry for the damn thing and trapped it again under plastic box with holes and brought it outside in the hall of the building. I mean, it can go downstairs, right? I noticed that while insde the box, the bug...

More or less famous men I find quite sexy

James Spader (timeless sex appeal, effortlessly sexy) Adam Ant (energy, moves, voice, personality and perfect face) David Bowie (strong unique looks, animalistic sex appeal, self-confidence and talent ) Sam Rockwell (boyish charm, energy) Mads Mikkelsen (weirdly sensual, incredibly attractive, great face, talented ah) Noah Segan (bad boy charm, amazing bone structure) David Howard Thornton (I know, I know, but there is something about him, I just adore him) Roger Taylor (Queen drummer, incredibly cute, always smiling, smart and educated, great face, talented) Tom Hiddleston (I am sucker for British men, he is sexy in weird British way)

Killing the angels

 This is not religious text in any way. It's more ecological and emotional. I am a cat person, I like cats, I help them whenever I can. I respect nature and animals in general, but I can't say I am consistent and I am not a hypocrite, because I am. I am not vegan, not even vegetarian, I wear leather (mostly boots and belt I have for decades now), I am as bad as anyone else. I am trying to excuse myself that I am too small, non important, nobody, I can't make any difference whatever I do. And that's probably true. but it still gets me a lot. A day ago, a little male kitty, maybe 6 months old, the only one from a litter of three kittens that survived, was found dead, run over by car. Their mom is one small greyish and white cat, who is so smart that, for now, for all the cats I fed and loved in that small area, she is the only one alive after 3 years.  There were summers when I was happy to visit a bunch of happy, cute and healthy cats, on that little hill next to the dum...