Pisanije

I am invisible, but not in a sense people may think when someone says this phrase. When someone says they are invisible, they usually mean visually unremarkable, someone that blends in with a crowd that can be easily forgotten. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, if you ask me. While with aging (and I am approaching 54 this year), yes, sure I am becoming visually more and more "unremarkable" with each year, thanks to our social culture that for women only quality is her youth and looks (because we are not humans, see my other article about that topic), I think I am not quite there yet. I am still pretty recognizable, and if I want (but I usually don't) I can stand out in the crowd. But that's not what I mean by invisible. I am invisible as complete person, as personality with all the things I can do and I can offer. And I am pretty sure I am not the only one who feels like that. Unless you are rich, famous, ultra media-gorgeous, so talented that it's unique in t...

In no particular order:  GregBroDudeMan - Man watches videos and reacts. Plain and simple. Very genuine, very non-controversial, sweet and authentic. People love this Greg Bro dude man, because he appears to be genuinely non-problematic person which is rare on internet. Very cute, wholesome channel with reactions. Zaffy - Zaffy is masked man who fights crimes and bad movies and series. He is a pitch-black comedy character who sometimes get into really dark topics and does it quite well. He also makes a lot of weird but strangely authentic and smart theories about popular movies and tv series. Morgin DuPon t - absolute sweetie. I like her, smart, funny, down to Earth, but she sometimes seems very sad. On the bad side, she posts rarely and often deletes her videos. But I am keeping an eye on her. Luxeria - absolute riot! If you like brilliant and funny commentary videos, mostly on reality tv shows, this is a channel for you. Luxeria is funny and smart and very down to Earth. Her comm...

I have seen this, most of us saw this, people are getting exhausted, mentally, even physically, even though, we (so to say) live in civilization, in a world that should, in theory, make everything easier for us. So why there is much burnouts, so much depression, so much people feeling like all they want to do is just lie down and do nothing... We should be happy, I mean, people who do live in objectively good conditions, but the twist is, this feeling of exhaustion, bleakness and depression is much less prominent in poorer countries, even in parts of the world where, for the most of us, conditions of life seem very poor. But, people there seem to be happier somehow. I don't know about hystory but I bet, people were happier back then than most of us now in out homes with AC or heating, with decent food, bed and lots of things we enjoy, or should enjoy. I believe a lot of the problems stem from anxiety. When you have something, you tend to be scare to lose it. A lot of us lost the ab...

Unfortunately, even for me, totally normal woman, Youtube sometimes "recommends" videos from people who call themselves "Alpha males" or red pill movement men. I do not want to watch them but I've seen videos who criticize them so I do know what's it all about. It is really weird to me that in this world full of hate, wars, and invented "reasons" to hate anyone or anything, in this short life we all have, someone found the "need" (sorry for too many quotes, I have to show that I do not agree with these) to downgrade our hard-built civilization which was upgraded for centuries with all the hardship, for God-knows which reasons. Now, why do I think this whole idea is wrong? I don't know much about this red-pill movement except for bits I've seen and I have no desire to see more, for my own mental health protection, but from what I've seen, which was enough, I can tell you as a woman few reasons from many of why they are wrong. F...

We have all seen these cases. Athletes who were winning all the time, who were on top consistenlty, that lost one time and were suddenly bombed with hate and ridiculed for "being losers". We've seen or known people who were always helping everyone, who were always there for everyone who asks, always giving, always doing things for others. After saying "no" or "I really can't right now" one time, they were reduced to nothing, ditched, banished, hated by everyone. You can't say "no" when you always said "yes", right? That's the curse of being nice or helping or being a "yes" person. You can help hundreds of times, you can give your money away, you could get people out of trouble, but once you decline, for whatever reason, you are the devil. On the other and opposite side are people who do mostly damage, mean, greedy, selfish, even evil. There is something alluring in mean people to the society in general. Look wh...

 Over next weeks I am going to give my best to erase most traces of me from the internet, especially social media. I may leave some account deactivated while I decide what to do with them, as I worked a lot on them, and I can't remove my novel from Amazon, and other sites that have my name on it, but as much as I can remove, I will remove. I want googling my name to return as less as possible. I am going away. I want to erase as much traces of me as I can. Maybe I will remove my novel and other novels I put online too, I am still not sure about this but I am thinking of it. No one reads them anyway. Going off the grid is not finished with social media and internet, I am going off in real life too, as much as possible. I am done with most of humanity. I had my fair share of crap received from people, insults, being hurt, being misunderstood, people who hate me but have no fucking idea who I am, rude people, people who want to use me and pretend it's good deed, people who attack ...

Social media can be the devil. I admit I enjoy Youtube a lot, there are lots of very enjoyable channels, with quality information, or fun and comedy, or just plain enjoyable. Then, there are the other ones. I really can't tell why I keep getting those on my recommended list because I don't like them, I don't search for them, and I usually mark them as "not interested". Anti-women videos. I took a peak at few of them and it made me sad and angry at the same time. Why people always invent reasons to hate groups of people based on various things? There are hate videos on certain nationalities, races, religions, sexual orientations, whatever you can imagine evil human mind can think of. And of course, there are videos directed at women. Lets be real, I do not condone any type of hate based on gender, nationality, race, traditions, sexual orientation, or whatever type of criteria evil human mind can invent. I don't care for men-hating videos too. I do not think peo...

We live in supposedly the easiest times. People used to live much shorter, harder lives, they used to work 10, 12 or even more hours of hard work every day. They would have like 10 children and only 3 would survive to the age of 10 or more. The life was rough. Yet, today, we are likely more tired than ever. Most of us works in offices, or even from home, most jobs aren't that hard, wars are burning as they always do but hidden from a lot of us who can see only what media allows us to see. We watch other people's "perfect lives" on internet, we see too many almost perfect looking people or just perfect looking every single day, people with no apparent flaws in life or body or face, we know way too much but still not enough, we want to be liked by total strangers and we do not know what is real anymore. We can't create because we want audience to approve our work, we can't be ourselves because we want to be perfect too, want to be liked, want to live life that i...

When we are young, some of us have good genes and have beautiful face and body. That's like minority who fits into beauty standard and beauty standard is forever and for everyone and it's very important. That means you have to be whatever media tells you that is currently beautiful. That can change in time but the point is always similar. Youthful face shaped like upside down triangle, big eyes, tiny perfect nose, plump lips, perfect skin, big hair, slim body but nicely curvy where it should be. For men it's to be tall, muscular, square jaw. "hunter eyes" (whatever that means), nice big white teeth etc. That's beautiful, that's important and that's the goal, right? Old is ugly, small eyes are ugly, bulky or bumpy nose is ugly, small mouth is ugly, square face is ugly, any body but slim is ugly. Right? Wrong! You know what, all that is crap! That's all what we have been taught to believe and think and it's implanted into our brains over tv, medi...

There are a lot of videos and essays laughing at alpha males, their roaring and yelling at camera and their... acolytes? students? whatever. They flash their muscles, their big expensive cars, they surround themselves with young (often, very young) women, they wear a lot of jewelery, and they like to show us how better they are than anyone else. They get up at 4am, they run or workout, lift heavy weights, drink only bottled water and eat expensive organic food. People still laugh at them, I mean people who are not obsessed with them, which are most likely very young, impressionable men. Then, there are influencers who like to show us how their life is basically clean and perfect. We saw too many videos about that too. Clean, expensive stuff, overally healthy food, everything esthetically pleasing to the top, bodies and hair and make up perfect 24 hours a day... you know the drill. Lately, I noticed on our Serbian social media our own influencers. Usually, they are women, young, in thei...

 As generation X, my youth was mostly during 80s and 90s of 20th century. Growing up during 80s and 90s was vastly different than growing up during 2000s or 2010s or now. Here are some nice perks of growing up before 21st centiry: We didn't know too much This may sound silly, but hear me out. Sure, to get some information you need it took time, books, magazines, asking around.. you couldn't just google "how to fix blender" or "Javascript tutorial" or whatever, you needed to work for it. A lot. Even for minor things, like how to saw something, or how to clean stain or how to prepare pasta. It took effort. If you skipped classes you had to put effort to go to public librabry, get books you need and do hours and hours of research not just google the freaking thing! But that made if feel important, accomplishment! And you didn't have many people with whom you could compare yourself, mostly people around you, not the whole freaking world. We were neer made to...

 Someone once said we were not meant to see so many faces of people as we see during last couple of decades. Thanks to social media, we are all exposed to way too many people and faces and bodies and way too exposed to seeing our own. It's probably not natural (for mental health) to see yourself every day, multiple times on social media, photos, selfies, and let your looks and you as a person be validated by strangers, by number of likes, by current beauty standards, by comparing yourself to thousands and thousands of faces and bodies you can see on hundreds of cable channels and even more social media networks, especially Instagram and TikTok. Being woman can be really tough. Constantly being bombarded by "theories" how your worth as a person depends on your looks, age and looking expensive, and even by your acting as a person. There are multiple channels where you are taught to behave like a princess, or queen, and how to treat people, and how to treat men, and how to b...

Horny Psycho Sends right away messages of what would he do to you, what would you (according to him) want to do to him, all sexual, does not share almost anything about himself, does not ask anything about you, he is not even pretending to care, he does not expect any answer, if you never answer he will not care he will continue, he just wants to send sexy messages and someone, who is preferably female, to read it. He will send those messages until you block him, or ask him who is he or what does he want, in which case he will try to keep it sexual, but if you insist to know who the hell he is, he will write you that you are an idiot. Don't waste time, block him. Just Psycho Start as "nice guy", asks you regular things, seems interested in friendly conversation, but quickly turn into someone who sends you loads of messages every day and tries to call you multiple times, even if you never answer to any message or pick up his calls. He will not stop or give up, even if it t...

 It seems a lot of people online (probably IRL too) are dividing into two groups: leftist and conservatives. It's all usually so that one side presents the other as extreme. I doubt that is really the case. Sure, there are always extremist out there, on both sides, but I surely hope they are not in majority. What I personally think is that the middle, as always is the best way to go. Not too far left, not too far right. I watched a lot of very liberal videos on youtube, and a lot of conservative right wing videos too, mainly from people who are objectively intelligent and have reasonable arguments. But... but still it's a bit too much on both sides. I feel the biggest issue with both sides is that that hate and mock each other. There is no tolerance on other people's preferences and no understanding on human diversity and differences. You can't make a mold for all people to fit in. That's just horribly controlling and even fascist. Problem with extreme conservatives...

 There was a time back then, when I was 19, 20, 25... back back in the '90s. It was different times, so much different than now. I can see that because I was there, and I am here now. I am not young anymore for long time and I can't even imagine how it is to be born right into the world of social media, internet, hundreds of channels on cable, Netflix, Hulu, reality shows, everyone's opinion online, everyone's life online, every single opinion out in the open... so much information, so many things, so so much of it right into your brain since you were born. Yes, internet, electronic media and social networks can seem like a great things that make life so much easier, but now, everything about everyone is out in the open. Your life is in the open, and what is worse, your lie is worth nothing. You are just a number, a small human in the sea of 7 billion other humans, and only lives that are "worth" (not really but you know what I mean) is rich, super rich people...

 I have few sites I visit on regular basis. I am not much on social media. I gave up Facebook, I deleted Reddit almost immediately, I removed Twitter after just few months, I didn't even try with Youtube... I don't know how people even manage to stay on these social media sites and participate every day in so many debates, many of them toxic, meaningless and damaging. Facebook - I wasn't ever bullied on FB honestly, but every day on my wall, there were so many opinions, most of them so negative, so unforgiving, some hateful, some just depressing, some sad... So many bad news, paranoia, so many sad, sad news, so much loneliness, so much scary things in this world. I am an empath, I just couldn't deal with that anymore. I feel like sensible and young people are bombarded with these things on FB every day, and that is scary. Reddit - is unforgiving. I made some stupid joke, almost immediately I was "canceled", I got really rude comments and insults, straight hars...