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Is absolute solitude a sign of depression?

Recently, I noticed that even though I sometimes complain of being lonely, I actually actively decline almost every human contact that is offered to me. And I mean 99% of it, if not a whole 100%. I don't really know why, and what is happening to me but I am just so freaking tired, I can't find the strength to deal with people, any people. It's not just physical tiredness, although there is that too, there is enormous mental, emotional, psychological tiredness that I can't seem to overcome. I don't have the will to do anything. Sometimes, I even prepare myself, like, I will go out and socialize, and then just give up. I think I am broken. I do socialize though with animals, mostly cats. Because, it's so easy. They are cute and cuddly, they enjoy pets, they like to eat and they are happy when they get food and cuddles. It's so easy. There is a catch with that connection too. Since those are strays, they do sometimes, disappear or die, get sick, get hurt, and i...
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Why I love cats

Cats are very special animals, they are their own species. No wonder they are and always have been rulling the internet, people are just mesmerized by those little beings. I can't but to like and respect cats and this is why. Cats are super-cute. Seriously, they look like children toys, like something made by Japanese animation teams, they do not look real, they are that cute. Nature created cats seemingly by composing everything humans consider cute into one little animal (or not so little in case of bigger cats): large eyes, tiny button nose, fluffiness, little paws with literall sharp daggers that can pop out whenever (thish somehow makes them even cuter), I mean, you can't deny they are freaking adorable! And they KNOW they are cute, look at my little Diva, she is senior but she knows she is cute. Cats are graceful. They can jump far up or long ahead and do it with incredible grace, they can make moves that would impress even the greates athletes, they can walk casually on ...

Why I like Spain

This Summer I visited Italy, Sicily to be precise, and Italy is absolutely gorgeous country you need to see! It's lovely all around and everything is art, even food. No wonder I fell in love with Italy, and I would go again if I have a chance. Spain is different but I still loved it. I've been only to Majorca, so I can't say I've seen Spain, really, that would be huge overstatement. What I didn't like: Airport and ways to travel around Airport is huge and it's a total mess! When we landed there, they didn't let us out of plane for quite some time, maybe 30 minutes, then let us outside on runway and kept us there, in dark for maybe an hour, until bus finally picked us up and get us to baggage claim. It was a nightmare of being tired and waiting long, long lines, and waiting for bus and waiting to let you out of plane. I checked and Magaluf, where I was staying is around 22km from airport and Palma so since it was night and very late, I was tired and I though ...

Why self-called "Alpha males" red pill movement men are wrong

Unfortunately, even for me, totally normal woman, Youtube sometimes "recommends" videos from people who call themselves "Alpha males" or red pill movement men. I do not want to watch them but I've seen videos who criticize them so I do know what's it all about. It is really weird to me that in this world full of hate, wars, and invented "reasons" to hate anyone or anything, in this short life we all have, someone found the "need" (sorry for too many quotes, I have to show that I do not agree with these) to downgrade our hard-built civilization which was upgraded for centuries with all the hardship, for God-knows which reasons. Now, why do I think this whole idea is wrong? I don't know much about this red-pill movement except for bits I've seen and I have no desire to see more, for my own mental health protection, but from what I've seen, which was enough, I can tell you as a woman few reasons from many of why they are wrong. F...

Creating hate using media and social networks

As someone well over age 50 I learned that it's much easier to attract attention with hate than with love, it's much easier for people to hate or to feel rage than to even try to understand. A lot of people see everything as they are told to see, by media, or internet, or whatever, evil versus good. Nothing in between! Just bad-good, no grey areas. And everything is a shade of grey (nothing to do the famous franchise), there are very little things, events, attitudes, opinions, people, points of view etc that are quite close to 100% evil or 100% good, but none of it is completely there. Sad thing is, although feeling love, gratefulness, being kind and understanding DOES indeed makes us feel better, it is easier to feel rage, hate, anger, mistrust, and refusing to understand, even though all that, on the long run, makes us feel miserable. It's too easy to watch the news and believe one whole nation is just bad, bad people, who should be wiped out, just because, well, people o...

Why mean and even evil people are always more liked and have better lives

We have all seen these cases. Athletes who were winning all the time, who were on top consistenlty, that lost one time and were suddenly bombed with hate and ridiculed for "being losers". We've seen or known people who were always helping everyone, who were always there for everyone who asks, always giving, always doing things for others. After saying "no" or "I really can't right now" one time, they were reduced to nothing, ditched, banished, hated by everyone. You can't say "no" when you always said "yes", right? That's the curse of being nice or helping or being a "yes" person. You can help hundreds of times, you can give your money away, you could get people out of trouble, but once you decline, for whatever reason, you are the devil. On the other and opposite side are people who do mostly damage, mean, greedy, selfish, even evil. There is something alluring in mean people to the society in general. Look wh...

Bye bye little baby

Bye bye little baby, I cared, I am sorry I didn't help you in time.