Pisanije

I am invisible, but not in a sense people may think when someone says this phrase. When someone says they are invisible, they usually mean visually unremarkable, someone that blends in with a crowd that can be easily forgotten. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, if you ask me. While with aging (and I am approaching 54 this year), yes, sure I am becoming visually more and more "unremarkable" with each year, thanks to our social culture that for women only quality is her youth and looks (because we are not humans, see my other article about that topic), I think I am not quite there yet. I am still pretty recognizable, and if I want (but I usually don't) I can stand out in the crowd. But that's not what I mean by invisible. I am invisible as complete person, as personality with all the things I can do and I can offer. And I am pretty sure I am not the only one who feels like that. Unless you are rich, famous, ultra media-gorgeous, so talented that it's unique in t...

Artificial Intelligence or AI was something we all imagined will make our lives easier. It should've been made to help sick people move and do things they can not do. It was supposed to do jobs humans simply can not do, or are too dangerous, or even maybe to do mundane everyday tasks like cleaning or cooking. Instead of that, we have generative AI which can make you photos or videos of your crush (who doesn't have any ide you even exist) naked and you can do other literal crimes using AI. You can write pretty lousy novels and hope some people will buy it and you will get money by writing few sentences and making AI do the rest. Or you can use them not to do anything and just create fake people, so called AI influencers to make you money on Instagram or other social media. Or you can "make" illustration by typing few descriptive sentences and use them to get money or to promote things for free, and call yourself "an artist" (which you are not, sorry). Or you ...

I have seen this, most of us saw this, people are getting exhausted, mentally, even physically, even though, we (so to say) live in civilization, in a world that should, in theory, make everything easier for us. So why there is much burnouts, so much depression, so much people feeling like all they want to do is just lie down and do nothing... We should be happy, I mean, people who do live in objectively good conditions, but the twist is, this feeling of exhaustion, bleakness and depression is much less prominent in poorer countries, even in parts of the world where, for the most of us, conditions of life seem very poor. But, people there seem to be happier somehow. I don't know about hystory but I bet, people were happier back then than most of us now in out homes with AC or heating, with decent food, bed and lots of things we enjoy, or should enjoy. I believe a lot of the problems stem from anxiety. When you have something, you tend to be scare to lose it. A lot of us lost the ab...

As someone well over age 50 I learned that it's much easier to attract attention with hate than with love, it's much easier for people to hate or to feel rage than to even try to understand. A lot of people see everything as they are told to see, by media, or internet, or whatever, evil versus good. Nothing in between! Just bad-good, no grey areas. And everything is a shade of grey (nothing to do the famous franchise), there are very little things, events, attitudes, opinions, people, points of view etc that are quite close to 100% evil or 100% good, but none of it is completely there. Sad thing is, although feeling love, gratefulness, being kind and understanding DOES indeed makes us feel better, it is easier to feel rage, hate, anger, mistrust, and refusing to understand, even though all that, on the long run, makes us feel miserable. It's too easy to watch the news and believe one whole nation is just bad, bad people, who should be wiped out, just because, well, people o...

 Someone once said we were not meant to see so many faces of people as we see during last couple of decades. Thanks to social media, we are all exposed to way too many people and faces and bodies and way too exposed to seeing our own. It's probably not natural (for mental health) to see yourself every day, multiple times on social media, photos, selfies, and let your looks and you as a person be validated by strangers, by number of likes, by current beauty standards, by comparing yourself to thousands and thousands of faces and bodies you can see on hundreds of cable channels and even more social media networks, especially Instagram and TikTok. Being woman can be really tough. Constantly being bombarded by "theories" how your worth as a person depends on your looks, age and looking expensive, and even by your acting as a person. There are multiple channels where you are taught to behave like a princess, or queen, and how to treat people, and how to treat men, and how to b...

 How many times you heard that when you are depressed, on the edge and feel like nothing has meaning anymore, no one loves you and you don't matter, that you should "reach out" and "seek for help"? Hundreds of times. Like, our world is full of love and people willing to love you and to help you, and you just need to reach out and ask. BULLSHIT! I asked for help, many many many times. No one cared. No one wanted to listen. I was boring. I was not interesting. I was making everyone feel bad. I need medications, tons of them (that's what happens when you ask doctor for help, I mean psychiatrist) because no talk or understanding where I am can help. I do not matter, to anyone. When I am not young, or fun, or in the mood, when I am depressed, and I stop cleaning my apartment and I do not care anymore that I sleep on broken couch, and that I have dozens of spiders all around, and that there are way too many stuff laying all around dangerously looking like hoarding...