четвртак, 02. септембар 2021.

Expectations of life

 Are great or less great expectations of life harmful for us? They might be. Everyone has goals,  expectations, plans and wants that to work. But, what happens if that doesn't happen for us? Because, no matter how hard we work, no matter how hard we try, push, life is not predictable, more often than not, it doesn't go our way and it's not "working" as we want it. More often than not things don't turn out as we want them.

Note: Of course, I am not super smart person, or life coach or educated as psychologist or whatever, so all this is just my opinion based on my experience.

What are some common expectations?

Sometimes, we work a lot to get a job of our dreams, or be famous. And we work really a lot, looking at people who got famous, who got that dream job, but with far less work, far less competence and less talent than we have. So why wouldn't it work for us? Because, sometimes it doesn't. There is no explanation, everything that happens is a complex structure of circumstances, current events, right moment at the right time (or wrong), connections, people and places etc. There is no sure, no-fail formula for any success. Even if you work your ass off, even if you get to know all the right people, even if you are proven talent... nothing is guaranteed, sorry. So, putting your eggs in that one basket can result in not only large disappointment but also losing all other opportunities you missed in life, chasing this single one.

Sometimes, we have expectations in love, and that is very tricky because people say that the harder you try to find and keep love, more desperate you become and harder it gets. But if you don't try at all, again, of course, you will not find it. Obviously, there is a thin, thin area of luck (to meet right person), investment, compromise and balance of give and take for love to become present in your life. Even then, even if you invest every aspect of you, find the right person, do all the right things, there are no guarantees. Hollywood serves us ideals of love which can not exist in real life or at very least, can not persist for some time, and this can make our expectations even more unrealistic. Not even realistic expectations in love can always succeed. Not so rarely, it happens that even modest expectations don't work for you. That can make person miserable. They failed in love. Expectations of life in love can destroy everything else beautiful you have in life. Why let it happen?

Perfect face and body. There is so much of this issue on social media. People who show their amazing bodies as "before" photo only to show "after" photo of even thinner, even more muscular body. People who upload photos of their "puberty glow up", people who upload their photos of any "glow up", after weight loss, after plastic surgery etc. There is nothing wrong with being proud with your accomplishments. You should be. But, problem arises when you spend most of your life being miserable trying to achieve that perfect face and body. Problem arises when your goal is just not realistic, not achievable, not something you need and won't really make you happy anyway. Problem is when you are miserable because of things you can not change. And when getting old becomes problem because you think you will not be beautiful anymore and getting old naturally, letting yourself look old becomes "social failure".

What to do?

I am not life coach, I myself am lost and have lots of unhealthy expectations, not better than anyone else. But, if I think deeply, I would say my goal would be to live in a moment, not yesterday, not tomorrow, not in future, not in past. Not to have rigid plan of life that could go awry and make me miserable, not to have great expectations which are related to changing other people's will and decisions, or to accidental circumstances, and when those fail, not to be miserable and think it's all my fault. Just keep going. Have my own opinions and not let other who disagree with me bring me down and thing that I am stupid or wrong. We are all entitled to our opinions as long as it doesn't actively hurt someone. As I am pushing 50, look people, life is short, eat, drink, catch any happy moment, read good books, go out if you want, sit home if you prefer, watch good movies or read good comics, sleep, have hobbies, whatever makes you happy. Don't look back, past is gone. Don't fright the future, it's not here yet. Just fucking live! And I am saying this desperately to myself too. I just won't listen.



петак, 25. јун 2021.

RIP beautiful little angel, we loved you so much

 We will miss you forever, little innocent angel We loved you and you were loved, You were the sweetest, dearest, cutest cat I've ever seen, and you had a heart of gold. We love you and we will never forget you. Forever Cicika! My heart is broken, forever. I love you. Rest in Peace 2018-2021






петак, 18. јун 2021.

Why people in Serbia hate animals and nature?

 I have to admit I am doing something for which I could pay a fine, I could be actually punished with some money for small offense. Sometimes, like all good people, I feed stray animals. We have some cats and dogs in the city, like most cities have. Some dogs are fed and loved by community but you can notice exact moment when those same cuddly, friendly dogs suddenly become timid, scared and start getting away from humans. That's the moment when you know someone kicked or molested those dogs. And that always happens. Because? I don't know. We have a lot of vile people. People in this country are mostly angry, apathetic or depressed for quite reasonable things, salaries are small, jobs are tough and badly payed, poverty is everywhere, hopelessness is all around us, we had tough history, we have no future... But why release the anger on creatures that really have nothing to do with our problems? What did that dog do to you? Or several stray cats?

What happens when someone like that sees you giving a piece of leftover meat to some skinny stray cat? They get angry, they yell, they feel justified and superior to you, because you are the one who wronged them, by giving piece of food to hungry animal. Don't ask me why, I really don't know. I guess if I were a large man, maybe, just maybe there will be less bullying. But I am not. I am an easy target. Still, I am not afraid for myself. I can deal with these people, even though most of them are twice my size. What scares me is that some of them are really ready to harm the animals. We had situations with poisoning the whole area, dozens of dead animals, stray and pets, and perpetrator was never found or punished. But that is inexcusable! Even if you hate animals and want them all dead (which makes you psychopath in my book, but who cares what I think), it's not that you just throw poison and kill cats and dogs and birds. Those people are really stupid. That poison is damaging all of us, whole ecological structure, ground, and underground waters, and nature which we desperately need to keep! And I am not an expert but there are small children playing all around, some child could be poisoned and get sick and no one would actually know that was the cause. Child could lose the puppy, or see dead animals all around, is the the world you want to live in? World of concrete, without trees, clean water, without animals, with polluted air, and poison all around us? |Because it's not the world I want to live in.

Is there any, any world Nature or Animal welfare society that can do anything about this problem? Because I can't do it alone. I am getting really tired.

понедељак, 31. мај 2021.

The society of today is crap!

Todays society sucks! You know what, humans were always hostile in history, I mean they used to watch live executions! Today, everything is less out-in-the-open-ugly, but it can actually bite you much deeper. Everything is about politics! You have to dig and dig deep in any social media, on any platform, on cable tv, newspapers and in real life interactions with people to find something valuable, something beautiful, something that can make you feel pure pleasure without any reservations or conditions, without any side-effects. People are divided in groups more than ever, they hate each other for so many reasons, lately most popular is about the fucking virus. People are ready to tear each other apart, to openly insult you, to threaten you and call out for laws that can and will punish you in variety of ways. They are openly asking that we all should be controlled, by threat of vile punishments. It's so scary, when you open any news portal and see so much accumulated hate in everyone. There is hardly ever any voice of reason, someone who can express their opinion without being attacked for whatever reasons.

And we have so many reasons to hate each other, we hardly needed a new one, but here it is, we got it and I am sure someone is making money on that bloody fight too. Because why else create division between people? Dividing people was always about money, power and politics. I mean, what could be any legitimate reason to hate other nation, race or people of different sexual preferences (I mean, as long as it's legal and doesn't hurt anyone)? What's it to you? Why would you care? I am on only one platform now, YT, ,I ditched all other and this blog no one reads anyway, and there is so much hate, even though I am searching for stuff like "learning French", "JQuery Tutorial" (yes, I know JQuery is not "in" right now, but that's what I wanted!), music, movie reviews, short independent horror movies, comedies etc, on my timeline, I regularly get so much conservatives and openly misogynistic people, not to mention politics and hate-hate-hate to so many groups of people! You think you are smart if you hate Russian people because Hollywood says "Russia bad"? You think you are smart if you hate women for whatever reason, they don't please men anymore, they are not "servant" enough, there are rare tiny groups of women who demand something silly that no one listens or takes seriously (I run into people who find such groups and make SUCH BIG deal about it. These 3 women hate men, ergo all women hate men. Feminists bad. Right? NO! It's just another small hate group.)? You think this world is being "ruined" by LGBTQ people? Why? What does it matter to you? No one forces you to live in Russia, leave those people alone! No one forces you to date women if you hate them so much. Date men! Or better yet, don't date anyone. Why do you care what LGBTQ people do? What's it to you? Are you forced to join them?

Why do we need to be forced into anything? Why so many people want everyone to be controlled, punished, monitored? Force men into their roles, force women into their roles, force people to think and do as you think they should, or whatever media and government is telling us we must do? Like media and government never lied? Yeah, that would be the day. I cancelled myself from all people, all social media, society, and I am officially giving up news portals. I am 48 and I am so TIRED of hate around me. I am tired of permanent hatred, seriousness, political correctness, inability of people to accept different opinions without getting into violent conflicts, prejudices (oh, I received a lot of those!), inability of humans to LIVE for fucking sake, to enjoy, to create, to appreciate beauty and life! We forgot how to live, without conflicts, jealousy, fear, envy, anxiety, hatred, prejudice, sadness, violence, apathy, politics, greed... Everyway you turn there is poison. I opened a Serbian portal today and regretted it in a minute. So much hate! People, there is only 7 million of us, and the number is getting smaller. Stop hating each other! Just stop insulting people with different opinions, stop spreading misery, stop hating on everything alive! How did we get so much hate inside us? What happened? Maybe it was like that also in the '90s but no one knew because there was no internet and we had like 2 or 3 public channels on TV? But now everyone is free to spread their own hate, misery and insults because it's apparently all we have left!

I am not saying it's just Serbia, it's everywhere! People are hated for their own opinions, for nationality, for gender, for their skin color or origin, for their own life decision that are nobody else's business! People are FORCED to make decisions about their own life, their own body, their own future because society tells us so. For example, why is anyone bothered if a woman doesn't dress and made up "to please the eye", or has body modifications or is not humble housewife? What's it to you? You don't have to watch her, or marry her, no one is forcing you, it's her life! Or if you have your own opinion on how to live your own life. Whatever you want, as long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself, or ruin nature and life on Earth, is fine. This brutal society machine wants everyone to be 100% correctly made human being, and to please EVERYONE. Well, that's not possible!

So, what's left to do? I don't know. Be brave and super strong, bear it, stand up, like some people, tell your opinion and take all the insults and threats like a champ. Or if you are not brave and strong and those things make you cry and miserable, is it solution to isolate yourself as much as you can, create your own world, your own beauty and try to stay away from everything and everyone as long as you can (which is doomed to fail, trust me!)? Why do we all need to defend our opinions? Why do we need to explain to strangers why we did in life what we did? I am an introvert, why is so fucking many people offended that I won't (can't!) communicate and be friendly and happy and social which I am not? Why hate me for that? Why do you care??? How do I harm you by not being social and by being introvert? Or anything anyone does in their life, how does it harm you? Are you afraid it's gonna spread like a disease and if enough marriages divide chores and care about children equally, that will, oh-my-God SPREAD! And you, lazy butt will have to do it too? What's it to you? Leave people be! Stop asking that everyone should be controlled, that is dangerous!

Stop spreading hate! We have enough of it. You know to bake? Then bake? You know to fix things? Go fix things, bravo to you! You know or just love to paint, write, draw? Just do it! Listen to music, watch movies, series, learn languages, knit, save animals, save trees, make your own fruit or flower garden,  design dresses whatever and love it! Make people happy! Stop THE HATE! It will never make anything better, it will just create more hell.

thank you for reading.