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Watercolor stuff - tj malo vodenih boja






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Dreams and Death

Recently I watched "Obsession" in Cinema and it made me think. Being passenger in your own body and not being able to control it while feeling everything and still being inside of that mind is specific kind of horror. But, this is something I've lived through almost every day of my life. In dreams. Dreams are huge mystery and people still have no idea what they are exactly, why do we need them at all. Sleep, ok, fine, body is regenerating, brain is regenerating, but why dreams exist? And why are they so weird? Even animals dream though we will never know what. In huge majority of my dreams I am someone else, not me, probably not even on this planet or this dimension, or this timeline. Only in rare occasions I can do anything to control body I am occupying in those dreams, more often than not, I am just that: a Passenger. A parasite, a little soul in mind of different body that has their own mind, life, habits, world. I am just inside of that mind, observing, feeling every...

Some fun youtube channels to check

In no particular order:  GregBroDudeMan - Man watches videos and reacts. Plain and simple. Very genuine, very non-controversial, sweet and authentic. People love this Greg Bro dude man, because he appears to be genuinely non-problematic person which is rare on internet. Very cute, wholesome channel with reactions. Zaffy - Zaffy is masked man who fights crimes and bad movies and series. He is a pitch-black comedy character who sometimes get into really dark topics and does it quite well. He also makes a lot of weird but strangely authentic and smart theories about popular movies and tv series. Morgin DuPon t - absolute sweetie. I like her, smart, funny, down to Earth, but she sometimes seems very sad. On the bad side, she posts rarely and often deletes her videos. But I am keeping an eye on her. Luxeria - absolute riot! If you like brilliant and funny commentary videos, mostly on reality tv shows, this is a channel for you. Luxeria is funny and smart and very down to Earth. Her comm...

We are not allowed to say that we are miserable

I tried fighting my depresseion many times. I have my fake smile that probably does not fool anyone, I have my weak jokes, usually at my own account, I mostly seclude in my apartment and don't go out almost ever. If I go among people I can only recognize how mentally bad I am, so I just avoid it. I might be wrong but possibly a lot of people feel like this. Pressing anxiety, along with my terrible health anxiety, joined with even more pressing depression, and seeing how far I am, or how far I feel, behind other people. In every aspect of life that counts. It's not allowed to say this. I tried joining online groups for people with depression and funny thing is, in these stupid groups, it's only allowed to surface complain, whine, but not too much. If you even try to say what's really on your mind, you are banned. How "funny" this is? I mean, really. The whole thing is a joke. People crying online, real people, crushed, and the "group" allowes them onl...