Getting older is a privilege, not everyone gets a privilege to get old, to be 80, 90 or older. Getting older while keeping decent health is even more of a privilege, even though average human life span is getting longer keeping health with age is still hard. Not everyone gets smarter with age, not everyone gets to be a better person, smarter, wiser, deserving more respect, sadly some people don't grow or learn, some just get to be worse as humans. But what about those who grew older or old, and do get wiser, smarter or just are decent people as they always were? What happens in society where older people are considered ugly, scary, non-attractive, gross, non-interesting, and just plain annoying? Where most people treat them like they should just disappear? Hide, don't talk much, don't flaunt themselves in any way, and God forbid show any trace of sexuality because, that's "gross"?
Even if you are objectively not old, but not young either, you are treated like crap, because, you are also "gross" and how dare you try to be visible and act like a person! It's like your whole personality is narrowed down to your age. You are middle aged or you are old. That's your whole personality and nothing else about you matters. Old people are treated like mindless children, and often looked at with disgust. Sadly, I've seen men around 20, 30 who call women in their 70s "old hag" or worse, who yell at them, insult them and are extremely unpleasant to them, I think because those ladies do not have anything to offer that those men want. Would they treat lovely young women like that, ever? No. Because they think they could still have some "use" of those women. It's actually sad. Now, I am not saying, all men act like that, I am saying that I've seen SOME. But most young people, men or women, will not give even a second look to old person, most of them will just try to escape them and maybe feel even fear because being old is something they fear. Being old reminds you that you are mortal, and that you don't really have much choice, you have to get old and your looks and health will change, or alternative which is even worse.
Being middle aged myself showed me how people change their behavior towards middle aged people and how suddenly you stop to matter as a person. I can only imagine how worse it gets when you get over 70! But even now, I am fully aware of how different people treat me compared with how it was 10-20 years ago. Suddenly, no one looks at me, if they need to serve me because it's their job (like in retail or restaurants) they treat me like they want to get me off their back as soon as possible, like I am a nuance or someone really non-important. If I am asking for service for me personally and I say exactly what I am interested in, I get answer based on my age, not my preference. For example, I was buying books, and I chose two novels I thought might be interesting. The young lady who worked there said I get discount for third book so I told her what interests me and asked for suggestion. She gave me a bloody book about menopause! Am I crazy or was it horribly rude? I never asked for that, I can find information about menopause, if and when I need it, anywhere online, literally thousands of videos and articles.
Sometimes, in stores and public places, people who are younger treat us middle-aged like were are not worth of attention at all. Apparently, we can't give them anything and that's the only reason to be nice to someone? We are not that attractive anymore, we are not interesting as potential relationship material so we are apparently not people anymore. We don't exists.
I believe I will get used to this and even get use of being invisible. Like many people do. It's not really pleasant to become aware you are not attractive on any level to people anymore, and at the same time, realize, you once were you just didn't know it then. But for all the wrong reasons. Because you were young and pretty, you were potential resource, again, not human, just resource, just something they could use. This may go both ways for men too, but I have no idea how men feel so I have to speak for women only. I am pretty sure men have their own problems and their life with age does not get any easier, maybe just not in the quite the same way as our does.
It's not the worst thing that can happen to anyone, being ignored and knocked to the side like non-important, not useful human. It's not the worst thing to be considered non-attractive or "gross" and not someone anyone would ever want. It's ok. It's perfectly fine to get older and not to be the same person you were when you were in 20s or 30s. Society teaches us that the most important thing is to be young, sexy and beautiful forever (like in the movie The Substance), but honestly, like all beauty standards, it's all a big lie, a marketing! We don't need that, no one really does. I just don't like people talking over me, people ignoring me when I am trying to ask for something, people being extremely rude because I am not of "use" to them as sex object anymore, people who suggest me what should be my interests based on my age alone and nothing else, like that all that defines me. I am ok with being invisible, I am ok with being "old weird hag", just don't fucking try to ruin my day or my life because of that. I am still human.
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