Priča od pre više od 15 godina o maštanju, idealima i životu u snovima

Možda malo patetično, ali dobro, izmite u obzir da sam imala oko 20 godina kad sam ovo pisala. Dakle, stadandardno za taj uzrast je li tako?

NARKOMAN

by Biljana Malešević, negde daaaavne 1992 godine

Ti samo maštaš, a sujeverni deo tebe nekako zna da se ono o čemu sanjaš nikad ne ostvaruje, ti samo sanjaš, a ništa ne radiš i lepo ti je dok živiš u snovima, i lepo ti je dok se drogiraš maštom i mišliš da si sam svoj režiser. I smeškaš se dok misliš o lepim stvarima, koje se nikad neće dogoditi, i toliko si već duboko u drogi da gotovo sasvim veruješ u ono što postoji samo u tvojoj glavi. Ti više nisi u stanju da živiš, a da se povremeno ne prebaciš u onaj drugi svet u tvojoj glavi, u kome je sve onako kako ti želiš da bude, gde si režiser, a ne glumac... Ti si, u stvari, narkoman. Ali ti svoju drogu praviš sam i ubrizgavaš je direktno u mozak, u krv, u vene i u srce.

I budiš se svaki put sa sve većim osećajem beznađa i očajanja, koji štrca iz svih pora na tvom telu i svaki put sve brže želiš natrag u svoj izmišljeni svet. Drhtavim rukama grabiš špric i puniš ga iluzijama i one ubrzo teku tvojim venama i opet se smeškaš, a da nisi svestan da zapravo umireš...

Ko će ga sad znati šta sam mislila poslednjom rečenicom?

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